Desert island cravings

Tonight’s dinner adventure was an answer to my most frequent craving: pizza. I love pizza. It’s pretty much my favorite thing to eat. If I had to eat one thing every day, three meals a day, for the rest of my life, it’d be pizza. It’s my “desert island food”.

The problem with pizza and the program I’m on is that pizza is full of carbs. Crusty – delicious, bread-y, yeasty crust – is nothing but carbs. And carbs, sadly, are still in the no-fly zone. However, the internet is a beautiful thing, and with a minimum of googling, I found several recipes for low-carb pizza crust, most using cauliflower and cheese. In the end, I chose this recipe from Popsugar because it didn’t require the cauliflower to be riced. Our ancient food processor broke not too long ago, and with us being a few months away from our wedding and even fewer months away from my bridal shower, I refuse to buy new appliances right now. The Popsugar recipe called for grated cauliflower, and I had a cheese grater and a fiancé willing to grate an entire head of the stuff while I did some housecleaning.

 

Once the cauliflower was prepped, the rest of the cooking was easy. The “dough” came together quickly and cooked easily. The only mistake I made was not reading the first line of the recipe thoroughly enough, and I missed the part of the instructions that say to line the pizza pan with parchment. Later on, the recipe said something about the “prepared” pizza pan and I was like, “Prepared how? Mentally? Do I need to give it a pep talk?” Turns out, that mean lined with parchment. The lack of parchment didn’t hurt anything, except it was bit a harder to get the pizza off the pan, and the crust didn’t crisp the way it probably would have had I lined the pan.

Before

 

Final verdict? Taste-wise, not bad! There was a mild cauliflower aftertaste, but nothing too strong or off-putting. I would have liked the crust to have been a little crisper, but I think that’ll happen if I cook it on parchment like I’m meant to. In the future, I’d like to do a version with pesto sauce, grilled chicken, a little fresh mozzarella, and some sweet balsamic vinegar drizzled over top.

Sure looks good masquerading as a regular pizza though, huh? And the best part? I calculated the calorie count – 350 calories for half a pizza, which is exactly what I should have for my “high protein, low carb” meal per day. Even with all of this, I was at 60 carbs for the day. Awesome.

After

 

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When life hands you lemons, make fauxcchi

I’ve been doing a lot of cooking on this weight loss program, but most of it’s been the same few things: some variation on baked chicken, some variation on crockpot chicken, chili, turkey burgers. After a month, I’m getting pretty sick of the same few things.

There are also some things I miss, like pasta. Low carb pasta doesn’t really exist, though, at least not in a variation that’s allowed on this program. Or so I thought.

Enter Pinterest. I love Pinterest, and one of my favorite things in my pre-weight loss life was pinning recipes and desserts. I’m a passable cook and a decent baker, and I can certainly follow a recipe. I spent some time searching, and found the usual zucchini noodles (which were out because I don’t have a spiralizer) and some products that promised to be low-carb but probably aren’t low-carb enough to be keto. And then there’s this:

Faux keto gnocchi, recipe courtesy of The Primitive Plate

That, friends, is keto faux gnocchi, or “fauxcchi” as I’ve been calling it. It’s literally egg yolks and cheese, with some garlic powder, sauteed in a touch of butter and oil. The recipe can be found here, on The Primitive Plate, and was really fantastic. So fantastic, in fact, that Scott ate about half, and he’s a hugely picky eater.

Speaking of half, the recipe specifies that it makes two servings. I chortled a little when I saw the yield, because come on – I’ve eaten WAY more pasta than that at a go in my day. But about halfway through, I found myself getting incredibly full, and I still had to finish my prosciutto and arugula side salad. All the protein in this recipe really does make you feel full.

This won’t be an everyday meal, partially because of the prep, which is messy and a little time-intensive, although well worth it, and partially because eating two cups of cheese and three egg yolks on the regular seems like a bad idea. But every once in a while, when I’m so sick of eating chicken, this is going to be perfect. I might even put a little pasta sauce on them next time. And the best part? For my one serving, plus the side salad, dinner came out to 488 calories. Not bad!

Stay tuned, guys: one day this weekend I’m trying cauliflower crust pizza.