I’ve been trying to write this since Saturday, and it’s partially not been done because this week has been crazy and it’s partially not been done because I’m so mortified that this even happened.
I wasn’t feel one hundred percent on Saturday when I went for my lesson. Because of this “keto flu”, my brain was super foggy and I was having a hard time even tacking up. I had to do the girth twice because I started on the wrong side (herp derp, I swear I know how a girth goes), and it took me like five tries to put one of Cinn’s boots on in the right place.
The first 50 minutes of my ride were pretty good: lots of serpentines, bending, sitting trot. I even hit all of my diagonals like a big girl.
And then we cantered.
In retrospect, I should have probably told my trainer I wasn’t fit to canter. I didn’t feel dizzy or otherwise ill, but I was foggy, and I think being so “on” for the serpentines and diagonals used up what brainpower I had. But I love cantering, and I’m finally getting good (this week notwithstanding), so I set up and pushed Cinn forward.
It was bad from go. My reins were too long, my leg wasn’t under me properly, and I hadn’t managed to get Cinnamon started from his hind end, so he kind of flailed around on his forehand. There’s one part of the ring where he likes to fall in toward the center, and by the time we got there, I’d lost it. My reins were too long, I had no contact, and I couldn’t steer – and I wasn’t. I also wasn’t thinking too clearly, so rather than just try to collect my reins and fix it, I became a passenger.
There was a point where my choice was to haul on Cinnamon’s mouth to either pull him up or drag him around a turn, or we could jump a tiny cross rail that was directly in our path.
We jumped the cross rail.
Really, it would have been fine, except that Cinnamon had no preparation to jump and so he had to really chip in to get over the thing. The landing was understandably rocky and so when I felt myself falling, I kicked my feet out of the stirrups and bailed.
It was seriously not one of more stellar performances. I known I can ride better than that. Poor Cinn, he’s such a good guy – he probably was like, “Human, I don’t know what the hell you’re doing, but you seem to want to jump the thing and I like you, so we’ll jump the thing.” If nothing else, that showed me how much I can trust that horse, which is nice, but he definitely deserves for me to sit up and ride him like I have a clue.
I’m riding Saturday and Monday (assuming I don’t get rained out) so I’ll have two chances for redemption.