Weight Loss Wednesday – Week 12

Hey, look, it’s Wednesday. Go me.

I don’t have a ton of energy tonight, so in brief:

  • Weighed in at 162 lbs tonight, which is a 4 lb loss from last week and represents approximately a 21 lb loss overall.
  • I finally broke down and ordered new pants, partially because Old Navy gave me an additional 30% off coupon on top of of the 10% I already had, and partially because nothing fits. My trainer saw me on Sunday in my skinny jeans and was like, “Those are huge on you.” When other people start to notice, it’s time. Also, when your skinny jeans no longer fit like skinny jeans and look more like bootcut, it’s time.
  • Wedding dress still doesn’t fit. I mean, it fits more than it did when I tried it on before I started the program. It zippers partway. My first fitting at the bridal store is July 30, so I’m trying to take down ten more pounds between now and the end of the month. I don’t know if ten more pounds is going to do it, but it certainly can’t hurt.
  • I don’t know how friggin’ thin I was when I bought that dress a five years ago. I know my weight wasn’t more than ten pounds off what it is now. I also know that now I’m carrying my weight differently and that my waist is more nipped in now that it ever was before at 162 lbs because riding is giving me core muscles. So why doesn’t my damn dress fit?! Argh. Let’s blame it on being 32 instead of 27.
  • Despite that, I’m really happy with how I look in my new clothes that fit properly and with the direction my body is headed.

All of that said, I’ve been fighting with lots of feelings of inadequacy around my personality and who I am professionally (“You’re not smart enough or mature enough to work where you work, grow up”) and personally (“Seriously, those people don’t actually like you; they just chat with you because you work with them/you’re paying them/they just don’t have anybody else so they need you right now”). I’m not sure if this is just an downturn in my mental health from stress, or if it’s just that I’m transferring my anxiety around my appearance to something else now that my appearance is changing.

And on top of it, I was told by my doctor tonight that I’m teetering on the edge of a sinus infection, so I’m sure that’s not helping.

I swear I’m trying to write about other things. Riding has been going so well that I don’t really want to write posts dissecting it – my canter has really taken a turn for the better and I feel like I’m finally remember how to really ride again – and most of my knitting is straightforward, and that gets some airtime on instagram anyway. I just don’t have the energy or the strength or, frankly, the desire to dissect the good things in my life to blog about them. I need to figure this blogging thing out, clearly.

Weight Loss Wednesday – Week 11

I’m aware that, once again, it’s not Wednesday. That’s largely because the upcoming holiday disrupted my schedule. My company gave us an extra day off, so we’re out of the office July 1 through July 4. I decided to go visit my parents Thursday night through Saturday afternoon (and to try on my wedding dress), which threw off my riding lesson, so I’m riding tomorrow – actual Wednesday. Because of that, Scott and I went to weight loss clinic yesterday – Monday – to pick up our shakes and get weighed in and go to class.

This week was the first week I gained. I only gained a pound, and I know exactly what caused it. Scott and I had dinner on Sunday with both sets of parents – a first in our eleven-and-a-half-year relationship. It was a special occasion and we pigged out accordingly. I gotta tell you, I am not sorry. I had a stromboli and a delicious piece of chocolate cake. I’d be willing to bet that if we’d gone to our usual weigh-in, I wouldn’t have shown the gain and would have just broken even.

It’s a setback, albeit a small one.

I’m choosing to focus on the fact that, while I did overeat, I also didn’t eat pre-meal bread and ordered a diet soda with dinner. They’re small victories, but they’re important, because they show that I’m in control of my eating. I chose to overeat, but I also chose to make at least a couple of smart, if small, choices.

Real talk? I suck at healthy eating. I effing love carbs. Love them. Will never not love carbs. Probably will never not love food. As much the doctors and the clinic staff want me to see food as fuel, guess what? Food is good. I like food. I enjoy food. I’m probably never going to be a person who only puts bland things in her mouth because it’s just meant to fuel my movement from Point A to Point B. I will always prefer to pizza to veggies. It’s just who I am.

Recognizing that, I know that going forward, I have to be mindful of what I eat and when I choose to go over, and learn what I can about nutrition so that I can make smarter choices and still eat what I enjoy.

Wedding dress “fitting” (i.e., hauling my dress out of my mom’s closet and trying to squeeze my fat ass into it) happens this weekend. Will keep you updated.

And maybe post something that’s not weight-related soon, but my life is boring, yo.

Weight Loss Wednesday – Week…10?

So I’m a slacker. I skipped Weight Loss Wednesday last week, because I was exhausted. By the time we got home after group, I made my lunch for the following day, had a shower, and I was done. I did manage to lose another 2 lbs, which put me at 166 as of last week, for 17.4 lbs down total. There’s no group this week because the clinic staff are all at a conference, but my home scale puts me at 165, which is a 1 lb loss and 18.4 lbs overall. That is largely because I pigged out a bit over the weekend. June 18th was my dad’s birthday and the 19th was Father’s Day, so we had a combo celebration. There was pizza and wings and cake, and I’m not even a little bit sorry.

I also did nothing over the weekend because Season 4 of Orange Is The New Black dropped on June 17th, and I spent the weekend binge-watching that, with interruptions for my dad’s party and to see Finding Dory on Sunday morning. Not sorry about any of that either.

Progress is slowing down, and I’m trying to remind myself to be careful with what I eat. I scheduled my first fitting for my wedding dress for July 30, so I have another six or seven weeks to fit into my dress. I’m going to my parents’ this weekend to visit and to try on the dress and see where we’re at. I have confidence that if it doesn’t fit this weekend, it’ll be damn close.

My clothes are starting to not fit in a big way. Last week I put on an outfit that I used to love, but I felt self-conscious all day (and very grateful to hide in my cube) because I felt like I was wearing a baggy burlap sack. Frankly, I felt dumpy. I’m hesitant to buy too many new things yet because I still have another 15 lbs or so to lose, but I did shop smart today. Old Navy was having a 30% off online sale, so I picked out a new cardigan, two skirts, and two tops (that all pretty much go together). I also got another 30% off coupon for registering with the website, which they let me use, and because my original order amount was more than $50, I got free shipping. That means that I added five new pieces to my wardrobe, such as it is, for $46! At roughly $9.20 per item, I won’t be super sad if it doesn’t fit me for more than a few months.

Here’s hoping it all fits now, though!

#fivethingsFriday – Riding Edition

  • Things have been going pretty well lately with my riding. So well, actually, that I haven’t posted anything about them because there hasn’t been a lot to say beyond, “Damn, that was awesome!” Cinnamon and I have been working more on being straight and forward. Cinn walks like a drunken sailor half the time, largely because he is trying to cut in to the center of the ring and…you know, stop working. If you drop his inside rein for a second, he’s got his nose to the middle and he’s swerving. For most of his problems, forward is the answer, because if he’s forward, he doesn’t have time for shenanigans. Unfortunately, he doesn’t like to go forward because, well, then he won’t have time for shenanigans.

This photo is my favorite. We’re prepping for a halt.

  • A couple of weeks ago, I was cantering Cinn, and it was probably one of our better trips around the ring. As we went around, he stumbled, and my reins came out of my hands. Rather than panic – which is usually my first reaction – I just collected my reins up and kept going. I didn’t even realize what had happened until all of a sudden, I heard my trainer yell, “Good girl, keep going!” Truth be told, my lessons have been exponentially better after that little confidence boost.


Ignore the stupid face I’m making. I was joking with my trainer. Focus on the pony.


  • Last week, I rode Suzie, because Cinnamon had had a show with the younger girls earlier in the day (and apparently did very well – they brought home a Champion, a Reserve Champion, and something like four firsts and a smattering of seconds). I love Cinn, but Sue is such a pleasure. She’s forward on her own, and I don’t constantly have to get after her to make her move. Also? When I ask her to canter, she does it. It takes Cinn a while, partially because he’s lazy, but also partially because when he came to my trainer several years ago, he was a retired – and poorly trained – gaming and barrel horse. He apparently had no conception of how to canter under saddle, and consequently still struggles with balancing himself, particularly to the right.
  • My trainer was so pleased with the way I cantered on Suzie that I’m going to be alternating between her and Cinnamon for a while. Cinn is always my favorite buddy, but I’m really learning to enjoy Sue. She’s quirky in her own way – very skin sensitive (brush her gently and quickly), she has to chew on her halter before you put her bridle on, and she basically has ADHD; she hates to stand still. But under saddle, she’s responsive and willing, and a better babysitter than I’d expect for an 18-year-old chestnut Thoroughbred mare who used to be a lunatic show jumper.


Ugh, I love this guy.


  • Still can’t hit my effing diagonals. I can get them maybe 60% of the time, but at least I’m starting to know when I’m wrong?

Weight Loss Wednesday – Week 8

Yep, I know it’s not Wednesday. Nope, don’t really care. 

It’s actually more like Try It On Thursday, because that’s what I did today. 

I make stupid faces at 7 AM

I haven’t fit into this shirt since I bought it…and I bought it probably three or four years ago.

This week I lost 2 lbs even, which puts me at 168 lbs, for a total of 15.4 lbs down so far. They also measured my waist and I’m at 38″, which is a full inch less than I was last week and also 6″ off my waist since I started. I’m pretty proud. 

For those of you who aren’t here for the whole weight loss thing, I have a riding post scheduled for tomorrow, and a knitting post scheduled for Saturday, so hopefully we’ll get some more varied content up in here soon. 


Leventry by the numbers

Leventry, finished June 5, 2016

Pattern: Leventry, by Sarah Jordan [my Ravelry project page]

Yarn: Plymouth Yarn Worsted Merino Superwash Solids in 1000 White; Tess’ Designer Yarn Superwash Merino in Turquoise; Fiber Optic Yarns Merino Sport in Vitamin C Batik

Needles: US 5, Knit Picks nickel-plated interchangeables; 56 inches of cable + connector

Started: November 12, 2015

Finished: June 5, 2016

Total Time Elapsed: 6 months, 23 days

Total Time Lost Due to Broken Elbow: 1 month, 21 days

Total Yardage Used: 816 yards

Yarn Usage by Color: White – 545 yards (2.5 skeins or 8.82 oz); Turquoise – 252 yards (0.45 skeins or 3.56 oz); Orange – 19.6 yards (0.7 skeins or 0.25 oz)

Number of Stitches in the Bind-Off Row: 389

Hours to Complete Picot Bind-Off: About 4.5

Dimensions: 56 inches across the top, 27 inches down the spine (unblocked)

Number of Ends to Weave In: 20

Number of Days Until I Can Wear It at Our Wedding: 159

#fivethingsFriday – late AF edition

How is it 10:00 PM already?! I got out of work at 2 and have accomplished very little, aside from a nap, making dinner, and doing some housecleaning. I had intended to do this as a video again, but at this time of night…let’s just say I have my “no” face on.

This week’s five things are much more random than last week’s, but here we go.

  • I’m binding off my wedding shawl! Picot binding looks pretty, but it takes a dog’s age to finish. Based on how long it took me to finish the small section I’ve completed, I have another…oh…five hours of binding off ahead of me.

There are 389 stitches on the needle. For this picot bind-off, you CO 2 and bind off 4. Yeah. It’s gonna take a while.

  • I’m also working on my Ravenclaw socks! I’m ready to put the heel on sock #2. The nine-inch ChiaoGoo circs I bought (US 1 and US 0; I’m using the 1 for the socks) are pretty fabulous. I have tiny little hands so I don’t get the cramping that many knitters have complained about, and based on my Ravelry notes, they cut 2 days off my knitting time on the foot. The only downside I can see so far is that it’s difficult to try on the sock to assess fit on the nine-inch circs, so if I’m making something where I’m concerned about the fit, it’ll probably be best to start on Magic Loop.
  • I’ve been slacking off blogging about riding, but my lessons have been going pretty well! Still struggling with the diagonals, but my canter is getting worlds better. I have a lesson tomorrow, so I’ll try to do a post maybe tomorrow evening or Sunday, but in the meantime, isn’t Cinnamon the best looking horse (with the most pissed off face) you’ve ever seen?

Things I could eat with a spoon: this horse. Sweetface.

  • This week I learned that I’m not going to be able to cook properly until after my bridal shower (which is apparently in October). First it was the cauliflower/food processor disaster. This week, I tried to make garlic cloud bread, but I couldn’t get the egg whites beaten enough to hold peaks. It took me half an hour to get them beaten as well as I did with just a fork. It ended up being runnier than it should have, but it baked up enough to be edible. Of course, I realized after I’d already eaten dinner and cleaned up that we actually own a whisk and that might have been helpful. Looking forward to hopefully receiving a few kitchen tools (like a chopper and a hand beater) at my shower so I can cook like an adult.
  • Speaking of wedding things, we’re getting close – almost five months out, or as my wedding registry page puts it, 161 days to go. I’m suddenly realizing all the little things I haven’t been bothered to worry about. I need to decide if I’m going Spanx or no Spanx and decided on shoes so I can schedule a dress fitting. We need to order wedding bands. We need to figure out what suits the guys are wearing. So many decisions!